Fighting Crime in a Future Time

So my Fan Expo plans sort of “Petered” out. But, it was super fun just to be around the hall. There weren’t as many artists as I would have liked to meet, and I did get to reconnect with some old acquaintances. So that was neat.

Today’s review is not on a cartoon I’ve watched recently.

As a matter of fact, I haven’t watched this cartoon since I was really young.

I’m talking about COPS.

Wrong one.

I’m talking about the syndicated cartoon based on a line of action figures.

There are two distinct things I remember about this show: The open and closing themes.

The opening features a low-voiced bad-ass cop named Bulletproof. He narrates the opening and closing of the show. During the end credits, he rattles off the names of the Crooks in the series.

Bulletproof, so called because he lost his torso in a car accident involving Big Boss, the lead villain, is so memorable, and so bad-ass, he finds the best COPS around to get his revenge for losing his torso.

He doesn’t rhyme and his voice puts Shaft to shame. Ladies, start your creaming.

The leader of the Crooks is Big Boss who’s doing his best Edward G. Robinson voice. You know the voice, where everything is as nasal as possible, and every-GD-thing is suffixed with “See?”. That voice.

He looks a little bit like a short Kingpin with less muscle and way more henchman.

The show is a glorified cops and robbers type deal. Each episode shows off a COP having awesome accessories. Buy them all! Or Big Boss will eat your soul.

Just like this cat was seconds after this picture.

And since everything is MLP:FiM, there’s a voice actress you can hear in this show that plays one of the Mane Six. Bonus points if you can find her.


Fighting evil by moonlight

I was a little uncertain about writing about anime around here. I’ve been an anime fan since I was a kid, and was the type of person who said that anime was far superior to western animation. I was a lot younger back then and was fairly short-sighted and I’ve since changed my toon — pun totally intended — And now I feel that anime…

A quick aside: I know that the Japanese word for anime comes from animation, which in turn comes from the word anima. I know the Japanese use it to describe anything animated, but I’m not Japanese. So when I say anime, I mean Japanese animation. I will also never use the term “Japanime” to describe it, even though I love portmanteaus, that’s pretty much where I draw the line.

…and cartoons can share the stage with equal dignity.

So for my first post about anime, it’s only fitting that I talk about my first time experiencing it.

Thinking back to my first anime experience, it would have to be watching Sailor Moon on YTV as a kid. I was living in Ottawa at the time and it came on after school. I would rush home just to watch the Adventures of the long-haired heroine. Before I even realized that the show was aimed at girls, I was hooked.

The show’s continuing narrative from episode to episode was what, unbeknownst to me, captured my attention. I couldn’t miss an episode because it was like skipping a chapter in a book: you wouldn’t know what was going on.

The visuals were stunning and the characters were very believable. I didn’t know or care that Sailor Moon came from a country far away, and just enjoyed it for what it was: the adventures of a girl with superpowers.

My favorite Character was always a toss-up between Amy…

Another aside: I know the Japanese characters’ names, but I’m using the dub version for simplicity. Some people who read this didn’t grow up to become a giant nerd like me and watch the Japanese version.

… and Lita, Sailors Mercury and Jupiter, respectively. I definitely identified with Mercury, being the smart kid who was excluded from lots, and only had a few friends. But Lita represented something to me later on. The girl I wanted for my wife. She was motherly, loved baking and was a strong independant woman. Not unlike my fiancee.

Remember: When searching for Sailor Moon pictures, turn SafeSearch on to not ruin your childhood.

So this show is probably the first show I was ever, ever, ever obsessed with. I needed to know more. Voice actors production studio, manga, everything!

I’m not going to get into too much detail here because there’s just so much about the voice acting I loved. Instead I will gush about someone who came into the show later on.

The most unique voice I ever heard came from one Sugar Lyn Beard. I was somewhat obsessed with Sugar. Everyone thought her high-pitched voice was way too piercing, while I loved it. I’m a Geddy Lee fan too by the way. Sugar was a DJ in Toronto, and was also the host of the Zone on YTV for a while. I wish she had a twitter feed so I could link to it. Sugar played Rini, Sailor Moon’s child from the future, during the later seasons. Her voice was perfectly suited for it. High-pitched enough to be innocent and child-like, but with the emotion needed for the character. I’ve said before, when the actors are good, you forget that there’s an actor behind the mic. Sugar was able to do that for me. And she’s very easy on the eyes.

This is the face of a great actress.

So why should you watch Sailor Moon? It had a great story, though predictable, and featured some awesome characters. Watch either version, and I guarantee you’ll love it.

Well played…

Over the last decade, almost every network has tried to replicate the success of The Simpsons, and most of the time, the animated shows they create flop within a season. But at least they get a whole season unlike today’s show.

The show lasted from May 31, 2000-June 7, 2000. By my count, that’s a week. Only two episodes were ever aired, and only 6 were ever produced. So it would seem this is possibly the worst television show ever produced, but amazingly, it’s not. It’s absurd, funny and a bit crazy, but it’s from Kevin Smith. What else did you expect? Fraggle Rock?

Of course, I a talking about the ill-fated Clerks cartoon. Starring the original clerks, Dante and Randall, as well as Jay and Silent Bob — all voiced by their original voice actors from the movie — as the show’s main protagonists, and Alec Baldwin as the antagonist/wannabe supervillan Leonardo Leonardo.

I never watched the original run of the show, but a quick scan of the internet’s most trusted source tells me that when it was aired, the episodes were aired out of the intended order. The first episode aired was in fact the fourth episode, where Jay sues Dante and the Quick Stop for $10M, and not to spoil the ending, the Jury finds in favor of Big American Party! And the Second episode aired was in fact the actual second episode, which was a clip show parody, referencing the actual first episode.

Amazingly, this scene does not take place in Russia.

The other four were released on a DVD with commentary and other special features, and I recommend grabbing that if you can. The other four episodes are pretty funny.

The animation style is pretty good and easy on the eyes, and the writing/development was done by Smith and a former Seinfeld writer named David Mandel.

On a personal level, I watched these around 2005 while working at a Tim Horton’s and could pretty much easily identify with Dante and Randall, feeling I was a mixture of both, though not as troublesome, and I didn’t have a multimillionaire villain with his own Odd Job trying to take me down. The show didn’t resonate with test audiences (or audiences period) but I definitely took away something from it. As well as having a few laughs.

Alec Baldwin does a smashing job as the villain, Leonardo Leonardo, and this is perhaps one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen him in. And, of course, Tara Strong makes an appearance as the giggling girls that embarass Dante, quizzing him about his sexual history while giggling excessive ly.

The scowl heard by dozens.

So, if you just skimmed down and looked at the pictures, here’s what you need to know. Watch this show. It’s good. If it were to come back ever, I would watch it again.